Is there still anything that love can do?

Hi there! February's almost over so I thought I'd pop in and give a little update. Notice anything different? Yeah, they made me update the blog to their most current format, and it's still taking some getting used to. Still kinda like the old one better but whatever, sometimes you gotta let things change.

This month has been tough. This year has been tough. We're already the better part of two months into 2020 and it's been, excuse my language, shit. We've got an pandemic under way, a fatal mistake taking a plane out of the sky, the death of a basketball star and his daughter; this year has already been marked with tragedy in so many ways. International, relational, personal. We think we're doing our best but we wonder if we could have done more. We think we might know how it all works but then everything we had gets flipped on its head. We're made aware of how life is fragile as much as it is enduring. And facing that reality can and will break your heart.

There's so much that's happened in these past few weeks alone that I still can't really believe. But after the tears have subsided and I find myself in a clearer headspace, I'm still left with questions, questions that don't have answers. Actions still awaiting consequences. There's a lot to say about it all but also nothing to say. School's tough, people are tough. Faith it tough. But we soldier on. That's not to say that there aren't times we lose -- we lose wars to ourselves, to the people around us, to the circumstances that trap us -- we can't win them all. That's why it's important to be strong. To be strong enough to break down, to trust that the people we call friends are going to be right there holding us up when we start to fall. Strong enough to talk about what happens. Strong enough to apologize first. Strong enough to say something.

Amidst everything, how can you say that God is good? How can someone who's just lost everything say that God is good? I look at the world around and what can I do but cry. What is there to do but scream. As pain slips into our lives through the back door there is really nothing that can be done as it overwhelms and takes control. Every regret, every whispered though, you should have prayed more, you should have done more. There were more prayers to be prayed. There was more to be done. Maybe.

They say God is love. Sometimes we mistake love for gods. Sometimes we think we can please love, conquer love, tame love. God is love and sometimes we wonder if love is enough. Love did not stop someone from dying. Love did not stop another from leaving. Love did not stop the painful thoughts. Love did not stop the dangerous thoughts. Love doesn't forgive ourselves. Love never stopped it all from going wrong. They say love is so powerful but what has it done? What has it done but make the parting more painful? The goodbye full of grief? Is there still anything that love can do?

We have to believe there is. We have to believe it has already done what it needed to do. We were born into a broken, fractured, hurting world but it is still a good one. Still one where love exists, still one where we can learn to be strong as we wait. Singing songs of praise even when the words feel hollow, knowing we are alive even though it feels as if we are dead. Being strength for one another when the world doesn't seem very good to us.

There are more things that love can do.

There are more things that we can do.

When I first heard this song, I knew it had something special. It was saying something profound, even if I couldn't understand it at first. Full of grief and sorrow and melancholy, I knew that the ultimate message of it all was that of hope. Something that we've been needing a lot of, lately. A reminder that even when it feels like there's nothing left, even if it's over, there is still something we can do. And sometimes just knowing that has to be enough to keep us going. Sometimes that is all we'll have to wake us up in the morning and all we know when we climb into bed at night. But one day, I know that it'll stop being just song lyrics. It'll start being a mantra. We will embody these words, understand that we were born to love. That each and every one of us is a poem in its rough draft, and at the end of our lives we'll read them out loud to each other and realize our stories were one and the same.

We were made to love. And that love does something.

"This courage that I have, I have because of you--

You make me braver than I ever thought I knew.

It doesn't matter if the sky is never blue,

If love does anything, it needs to be for you.

I need to know, is there still anything that love can do?

I need to know, is there still anything that I can do?"

- r.k.

(Author's Note)

Please take care of yourselves dear readers, make sure to wash your hands and do your best. I had many drafts of this post and this is by no means the best one, it's kind of vague but I hope what I'm trying to stay still;;;kinda;;;gets across??? I have no idea.

I've decided to tackle Camp NaNoWriMo this April, still deciding between two very different stories, but I'll give updates on how it goes. Sorry for missing all of February, I meant to post this earlier but it apparently I can only post the night before I have a major test which is just splendid. Anyway, more stuff coming soon, stay saltful and all that. Bye!