HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Hey everyone! Wow, can you believe it? It's 2017! I celebrated the New Year by baking a batch of like a gazillion cookies at midnight while my parents were asleep. Not surprisingly, all of said cookies are gone now. Even if they kind of tasted like cake. Yeah, we added too much flour.

Anyways, when I was younger, I'd always make New Years Resolutions but I always never got around to starting them. Because I suck. As a kid I came up with a lot more ambitious things, like, share the gospel with all my friends and invent a new colour or play Wii fit everyday but none of those ever really seemed to work out. Recently, I guess I've been feeling a lot less confident that I can really do...anything, in a sense, because I just feel I don't have it in me.

Well, you know what?!?! That's gonna change!

I don't want to go too far, in setting unreasonable, impossible goals that I absolutely have no hopes in achieving, but they will be things that will make my life better. Things that I need to focus on to be a better person, physically, mentally, and all around! Things I need to do, not just want. Mixed in with a couple of skills that would probably benefit my life a lot. So here it goes!

1. Improve in baking

I really loved making cupcakes and pastries with my aunt and my cousin when they lived here many years ago. They really made gatherings and events fun and colourful and way more meaningful than spending so much money to buy things from the store.

I'm a mediocre baker. I can follow a recipe fine but along they way I get plenty frustrated and anxious for everything to turn out all right. But it would be great to be able to reach a skill level where I might actually be able to trust in them to say, bake a really nice birthday cake for my family or something they'll appreciate? Maybe even cookies to give out next Christmas? But who knows!

2. 20 pushups and 20 situps everyday.

Ah, of course - the exercise resolution. In which no one ever accomplishes unless they get a personal trainer to beat them into shape. I definitely need to shape up. What with my flabby arms and thighs and ever-expanding belly, something needs to be done. (My dad's reminding me all the time...)

And sure I want to run marathons and volt across hurdles and be so super active that it doesn't hurt, it really doesn't seem likely! At least with this I'll have a set thing to do each day, and as the year progresses, I'll try to push myself to more of a challenge. But for now, this is what seems realistic. So I'll keep going with this.

3. Stop procrastinating.

Ah. This one's going to be a toughie. This post is already a day late, I had two assignments barely started due TWO WEEKS AGO, two posters due when I get back to school, with the research for them half finished, a big project, a test, and MY FIRST EVER EXAMS TO STUDY FOR and I've been really disappointed in myself lately because I'm not the super smart, put-together person I want to be or that everyone thinks I am and it's been kind of stressing my out and making me not want to do anything at all. But I can't keep thinking like that. Things have to get better. I want them to get better. So whatever way I go about this, I just really hope that the anxiety goes down and I can be able to accomplish my role as a student, and be able to pour my best into everything. Because when I don't...it just really weighs down, because I know I'm letting myself and my family down when I do and...yeah, I've been kind of stressed out lately and I'm not sure how to make this work out...but I hope it will. Sorry for going on and on about that.

4. Write EVERYDAY!

Write anything! Everything! EVERYDAY! Because that's how it should be. As a writer, not writing should make you feel sick and guilty! I WILL REACH THAT POINT!

5. Draw more.

Drawing helps a lot when I'm developing a story idea, so I'm hoping that by improving in and being more confident in my drawing, I can share a create a lot more content and stories to share with you guys!

And I'll stop right here before I get too ahead of myself! But here's just one more - the most important one, but I feel will probably be harder than maybe even exercising everyday...:

6. Be bold.

Two simple words that pack such a punch.

I don't know if you noticed, or if you read my about page, there might be something about that, but I get scared really easily. Terrified may be more like it. I run away from even the lamest zombie apocalypse movies, I was freaking out about spooky prophecies old ladies that died a billion years ago said. I can't talk to people very easily, when in a conversation my mind kind of blanks out and I can't develop a thought or an opinion, so the worst thing to ask me is "What do you think?" because all I'll be able to say is "I don't know" and I really don't know why because I do wanna help. I guess maybe all my criticism I aim towards myself so anything else seems better than what I could possibly offer.

And I know this kind of thing can't change over night, I can't wake up tomorrow and suddenly just BE BOLDER. And maybe these qualities aren't so bad and not all of them should change but to be able to be free of judgement, free from what everyone else says is important, free of whatever reputation of shrieks and screams I've built up whenever I see a spider.

Because honestly, if I have to and I'm alone, I'll be in mute terror but I'll go up and kill it, whispering "sorry" over and over again. But in public something just drives me to screech and cause a ruckus and let everyone in the immediate vicinity know: "Hey look, there's a spider. And I am afraid of them. Come to my rescue!"

And it's lame. I don't know why I do that. It's just...I really don't know. Some kind of psychological thing, I'm sure.

My church does this cool thing where we have a New Years service every New Years eve at 11 PM. We listen to a message, they reveal the new theme of the year, and everyone gets a Bible verse card that is supposed to be like our words from God as we enter the next year. Unfortunately, my parents we really this year, so we couldn't make it. But when we went to church yesterday for our regular service, I managed to acquire some verses both in English and Korean. (My parents are always worried about this sometimes, because we had an unfortunate habit of getting some somewhat dark verses that talk about conquering demons and such, and those years haven't always been the greatest, but it was still something to overcome soo...)

These are the verses I got this year though:

"You crown the year with your bounty, and your carts overflow with abundance.

The grasslands of the desert overflow; the hills are clothed with gladness.

The meadows are covered with flocks and the valleys are mantled with grain; they shout for joy and sing."

Psalm 65:11-13

"He prays to God and finds favour with him,

he sees God's face and shouts for joy;

he is restored by God to his righteous state."

Job 33:26

And they kind of brought me peace when I read them. Like, I was being reassured that marvelousness exists, that beauty and prosperity fills the hills and everything that happens this year, no matter what is it and what's to come, you, I, we, can shout for joy. Shout it loud and without fear. And be bold.

You know how else I'm going to be bold this year? I'm gonna post every Sunday, summing up the sermon that day! It'll be a great reflection, and I also really want to share with you all the things I discover and learn! So I hope you'll enjoy them! This year has big things in store for Saltshaker City, I can feel it!

It's been a long post, but every word is worth it! Have an amazing second day of the year! Spend it doing something you love! I will go and work on catching up with all the homework I'm behind in...but you know what? I'll learn to love it, the feeling of accomplishment. And that'll drive me to kick procrastination's butt! Have a good one! And stay saltful! Hope your New Year is better than the last and no matter what, you'll aim for the stars!

Now for some really late breakfast. Au revoir!

#saltshakercity2k17 #newyear #hwaiting